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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28425366">This Life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/19byrdtia/pseuds/19byrdtia'>19byrdtia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, M/M, Many references to "In Another Life", Minor Character(s), i made this to Cope</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:14:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,861</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28425366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/19byrdtia/pseuds/19byrdtia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(A sequel I made to LittleLuxray’s “In Another Life”)<br/>The concept of ‘Déjà vu’ has always fascinated Akaashi Keiji. The feeling of having already experienced a present situation before, is a concept that he has grown accustomed to. From the moment when he first picked up a volleyball, to the familiarity of his distaste for hospitals, but none of those compare to this case, the most intense and extreme case of Déjà vu he has ever experienced, the moment he saw Him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji &amp; Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>This Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxray/gifts">LittleLuxray</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/5096105">In Another Life</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxray/pseuds/LittleLuxray">LittleLuxray</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I made this story, mostly for myself, but if other people read it and enjoy it, that's amazing too! After reading the amazing plot to "In Another Life," written by LittleLuxray, I needed some closure. So, this is my attempt at a Bokuaka happy ending. If you haven't checked out the original story, I highly recommend it. This story contains a lot of references to the original. Thanks for trying it out!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There are different theories as to why people experience Déjà vu. Some believe that whatever a person was doing that made them feel like they had done it before, was something that they had done in a dream. Some also believe it borderlines paranormal, believing in some sense that Déjà vu, instead of being something you remembered doing, is premonition, something you predict will be done. Akaashi did not know what his feelings of Déjà vu meant, but as he watched number 12 of the Black Jackal’s volleyball team, saunter out onto the court radiating with confidence, Akaashi couldn’t help but think, ‘I know him.’ He knows he has never seen the man, but he can’t shake the feeling that he has met him before.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Come on Akaashi, live a little!” One of his co-workers, Sugawara, loomed over his desk, wearing a pout as if that would convince Akaashi to drop all the work he had to do by Monday. Suga had been begging him for weeks to join him at a volleyball game that was happening that day. Akaashi refused each time, but Suga began to be more persistent, trying to bribe him with coffee and buying his lunch. </p>
<p>“Suga, you know better than anyone how much work I have to do.” Akaashi leans back in his chair, folding his arms while looking up at Suga.</p>
<p>“Yes, and I also know that you’re just going to go home and procrastinate and end up not working on it until the night before the deadline.” As always, Suga can read him like a book. </p>
<p>Akaashi wanted to argue. He’s still not entirely sure why he even agreed to go with Suga. He quit volleyball right after middle school, only occasionally playing it in his backyard, or at the local gym. His father told him it was pointless to play, that he needed to focus on his education to ensure a stable job in the future. He likes his job as an editor for the shonen manga magazine, and it pays pretty well, but every so often he misses volleyball. He misses the way it felt to control the game, deciding who to set the ball to, who would score the point. The two setters went to high school together and Suga often jokes that he is glad he didn’t have to compete with Akaashi along with Kageyama for a starting position. </p>
<p>“Two of my old teammates are playing, they’ve been rivals since high school, so this is kind of a big deal,” Suga tells him. </p>
<p>Akaashi gathers the files up from his desk, sliding them into his briefcase. “What time do you want me to meet you?”</p>
<p>Suga smiles brightly, astonished that he was able to convince the introvert to join him. “The game starts at 4, we can meet at 3, in front of the Sendai Gymnasium.” </p>
<p>“Okay, see you then, Suga.” Akaashi stands to make his way to the exit, nodding his head as a farewell to his other colleagues as he heads to his car. </p>
<p><em> ‘Do I really want to do this?’ </em> Akaashi thinks to himself. He hopes that it won’t be too painful to watch a volleyball game after so many years of pining for the sport. </p>
<p>He still has a few hours before the game, he can use some of that time to work on some of the work that’s due on Monday. Akaashi’s apartment is a little too big for one person. Sometimes he wishes he had a cat, or some pet to keep him company. Making friends and going out to meet new people never came easy to him, so having actual people to keep him company wasn’t really an option. He chews on some strawberry pocky as he works, the snack always brings him a nostalgic feeling, one of the many cases of Déjà vu that he has grown habituated to. It is around 2:30 when he decides to leave his apartment to start his journey to Sendai. </p>
<hr/>
<p>Sugawara is waiting there with two others he recognizes from high school, Daichi and Asahi. </p>
<p>“I didn’t think you were really going to show up, Akaashi.” He pauses and motions towards the others, “you remember Daichi and Asahi right?”</p>
<p>Akaashi nods his head. “Of course, team captain and the ace of Karasuno.”</p>
<p>Asahi smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Wow, I haven’t been called that in ages, nice to see you again Akaashi.”</p>
<p>Akaashi goes to shake his hand and then shakes Daichi’s. “Sugawara told us you used to play volleyball too, is that right?” Daichi asks him. </p>
<p>“Yeah, but I haven’t in a long time. I watched many of Karasuno’s games though, you guys were incredible.”</p>
<p>Akaashi notices the three reminiscent smiles that appear on the trio’s faces, remembering how happy they were to finally make it to Nationals their third year. The four of them make their way into the gymnasium, occasionally stopping along the way to greet old teammates and players from schools they went against in high school. Suga tells Akaashi that many people came to see ‘Kageyama and Hinata’s epic showdown’ as Suga called it. </p>
<p>When they finally were able to get settled into their seats, the announcer came on the intercom welcoming everyone to the Schweiden Adlers Vs. MSBY Black Jackals game. Since it is a home game for the Adler’s, they only announce that team’s starting lineup. Akaashi recognizes some of the players like Ushijima and Hoshiumi, who were really well known volleyball players in high school.</p>
<p>As the announcer was finishing up announcing number 20 of the Schweiden Adlers, Kageyama Tobio, a man on the opposing team cartwheels out onto the court, yelling “ANNND NUMBER 12, KOUTAROOOOOUU BOKUTOOOO!!” </p>
<p>There’s a few moments of silence before the audience erupts into laughter. Akaashi feels a small curl up in his lips, amused at the young man’s antics. As funny as the moment was, the smile slowly leaves his face as he gets a good look at the player. None of his past feelings of Déjà vu can ever compare to the overwhelming feeling of familiarity that forms inside of him when he stares at the man known as Bokuto. </p>
<p>He can barely focus on the rest of the members on the court for the entirety of the game. Every time he looks at Bokuto, he feels an intense feeling of sadness, accompanied with a contradicting feeling of warmth. Even though Akaashi could not get rid of these feelings, Bokuto was really entertaining to watch. At one point in the game a flying ball made its way towards Bokuto. Too fast to receive it with his hands, he puffs out his chest as if he was superman, so the ball ricochets off of it as he yells, “BUMP! ENERGY!” </p>
<p>Akaashi spent most of the game trying to figure out why Bokuto seemed so familiar, but he could not find an answer. By the time the last set was finished, Akaashi was eager to leave. The teams had already made their way off the court and he saw a perfect opportunity to make his departure. He gave Suga, Daichi, and Asahi a hurried goodbye as he made his way towards the exit of the gymnasium. In his state of rushing out the gym door he barely registered colliding into someone. The person stumbled back a few steps as Akaashi rushed out a panicked, “I’m so sorry,” reaching out to grab the person’s wrist so they could regain their balance. Akaashi froze as he looked up to see just who he had bumped into, slowly letting go of the man’s wrist.</p>
<p>Bokuto was much taller up close than he looked on the court. Akaashi took the time to examine his golden amber eyes, sweat dripping down his forehead from playing in the game. It was at this moment he noticed Bokuto was also staring wide eyed at him, mouth opening and closing as if he was trying to find the ability to speak. “It’s okay,” he manages to mumble out. He smiles in Akaashi’s direction. “I’m Bokuto, and you are?” </p>
<p>“You don’t need to know” Akaashi answers swiftly, looking for the easiest way to exit this conversation. </p>
<p>“I think you owe me, almost making me fall to my death and all.” Bokuto says with a wide grin. </p>
<p>“I beg to differ and don’t be so dramatic.” The more Akaashi stands here talking to Bokuto the more intense the feelings he felt in the gym come back. He gets a feeling of sadness whenever he looks at the taller male and he doesn’t understand why, but Bokuto’s bubbly personality contradicts the sadness and makes him feel comfortable and at ease. “I’m kind of in a hurry, it was nice meeting you Bokuto-san”</p>
<p>“You can drop the ‘san’ apathy-kun, I hope to see you again sometime.” Bokuto gives him another heartwarming smile, as Akaashi prepares to walk away. He gives Bokuto a nod before he continues towards the exit. He tries to ignore the feeling of nostalgia that followed hearing the name ‘apathy-kun.’ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That night, Akaashi dreams of Bokuto. They’re standing by an opened window watching the snow fall, the icy wind creating a breeze throughout the room, causing them both to shiver. Bokuto’s wearing a hospital gown, wrapped up in a thick navy blanket and looking much thinner than what Akaashi saw previously. There are dark circles under his eyes and tears rolling down his pale face. Akaashi doesn’t know the reason why Bokuto looks this way, he just knows he hates seeing him like this. He wants to reach out, he wants to comfort him in some way, but his actions aren’t his own at the moment. This isn’t the Bokuto he saw on the court today.</p>
<p>Another small choked sob leaves Bokuto as he manages to say, “Why… me..?”</p>
<p>Akaashi doesn’t know what the man is referring to, but before he can register what he’s saying, he responds, “Because life isn’t fair.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi jerks awake breathing heavily with a single tear running down his face. He hastily wipes it away, unsure of why the dream made him so upset. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘What was that?’  </em>
</p>
<p>Akaashi knows he has never met Bokuto before and yet, that dream felt so real. He wanted to play it off as just another case of Déjà vu, but it felt like so much more. It did not feel like just a normal dream, it felt more like a memory. </p>
<hr/>
<p>The next day at work was spent with Akaashi nodding off while trying to read through some files. He couldn’t go back to sleep after that dream last night. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Bokuto sobbing silently, his confident, energetic exterior crumbling right before his eyes. Akaashi couldn’t understand why he couldn’t stop thinking about Bokuto, he only spoke to the guy for about five minutes and now he’s occupying all of his thoughts.</p>
<p>“Hey, are you okay?” Akaashi didn’t know how long his co-worker had been standing at his desk. Suga’s eyes were laced with concern as he waited for Akaashi to respond. </p>
<p>“Y-yeah, I’m fine, just tired. I had trouble sleeping last night”</p>
<p>“Well, you can always take the rest of the day off, I’m sure the boss won’t mind you working from home today.”</p>
<p>“Thanks Suga, but I’ll be fine. I think I’ll go get some coffee from the café down the road.”</p>
<p>“Ooh! Can you grab me a hot chocolate?”</p>
<p>Akaashi agrees, smiling slightly as he makes his way out of the office, starting his journey to the coffee shop. It was a nice day outside. The temperature was warm with a slight breeze, and the sun was shining brightly behind the clouds. Days like this, Akaashi didn't mind walking. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>As he reached down to push open the door to the café, another hand was reaching to pull it. Fortunately, this time he was able to stop himself from running into the person on the opposite side. Before he had the chance to look up, he froze as he heard the familiar voice speak.</p>
<p>“We gotta stop meeting like this apathy-kun.”</p>
<p>Akaashi slowly looks up, not ready to confront the face that’s been on his mind all day. The editor can’t help but curse his luck that he just happened to run into Bokuto at this time.</p>
<p>As always it seems, Bokuto has a huge grin on his face. His eyes are shining brightly as he holds his drink in his hand. He’s wearing work-out gear. Akaashi assumes he’s going to volleyball practice. His gym shorts cling tightly to his thighs, exposing the firm muscles, forming from years and years of playing volleyball. He can’t deny that Bokuto is very handsome. He stands at about six feet tall, just a few centimeters taller than Akaashi. His black and white hair sticks up in a crazy way that somehow works for him. If these confusing feelings weren’t constantly making an appearance, he is sure he would be happy with the attention he is getting from Bokuto. </p>
<p>“Nice to see you again Bokuto-san and stop calling me that.”</p>
<p>“I’ll stop calling you that when I have an actual name to replace it with.”</p>
<p>Someone clears their throat to get the pair’s attention, interrupting their conversation. They soon realize they’ve been standing in the entrance of the coffee shop. Akaashi moves past Bokuto, making his way to stand in the line to the register. He expects Bokuto to continue walking to wherever he was going, but instead Bokuto follows him into the line. They don’t say anything for a moment until finally Akaashi decides to break the silence. </p>
<p>“Can I help you Bokuto-san?”</p>
<p>Bokuto rubs the back of his neck shyly. “I’m not sure if it is weird to ask but... can I get your number?” Akaashi isn’t expecting the slight blush that appears on Bokuto’s cheeks. Bokuto seems to always be confident and daring.</p>
<p>He doesn’t have the heart to tell Bokuto ‘no,’ even though these intense feelings are screaming for him to be cautious. He puts his hand out, palm facing upward, signaling for Bokuto to hand him his phone. Bokuto is practically glowing with happiness as he reaches for his phone in his pocket, handing it to Akaashi eagerly. The line is slowly starting to move up and it is almost Akaashi’s turn at the register. He quickly types his name and number into the phone, handing it back to its owner. Bokuto looks at his phone, “Akaashi.. Nice name.” He smiles brightly at the shorter male, so bright the sun would be jealous. His smile is so contagious, Akaashi almost finds himself smiling back. “Well, I’m off to volleyball practice. Have a good day… Akaashi.” With one last smile towards him, Bokuto makes his way out of the shop. Akaashi orders a black coffee for himself and a hot chocolate for Suga before making his way back to work. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite how it started, Akaashi felt weirdly happy thinking about the day’s events. Bokuto's personality seems to light up whatever room he is in as soon as he enters it. Akaashi still finds it strange how much Bokuto occupies his mind with only knowing him for two days, but he can’t find it in himself to be bothered by it. No matter what Akaashi tries, he finds himself being drawn to the spiker, like there is a powerful force creating an invisible tether that attaches them. After work, Akaashi immediately goes home. He quickly eats some Ramen for dinner, taking a quick shower before face planting onto his bed. It doesn’t take long for him to succumb to the exhaustion he’s been feeling all day. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ha! Did you see that?!” Bokuto’s yell echoes throughout the room. Akaashi looks around and sees they are standing in an empty gym with a volleyball net. “I spiked it perfectly just now! That toss was perfect!” Akaashi watches as Bokuto runs to retrieve the ball. The setter tosses the ball a few more times, Bokuto missing most of them, but when he manages to hit one, a look of pure joy takes over the spiker’s face. Akaashi praises Bokuto, but hears no response. He turns his head to face Bokuto, finding him staring off into space, towards the bleachers. “They… Aren’t really there, are they?” Bokuto says. Once again, Akaashi is confused. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Who is not there?’  </em>
</p>
<p>“They aren’t really there,” he finds himself confirming in the dream. Bokuto takes a moment to take in the information, then asks Akaashi to keep tossing to him. They continue playing volleyball for the rest of the dream. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Akaashi awakens, he finds himself more calm than he had with the previous dream. He can’t help but wonder what is wrong with Bokuto in the dreams he’s having. Something is off about him, but he can’t tell what it is. The Bokuto he saw at the game would not miss so many spikes like he did in the dream. He tries not to dwell on it, knowing these dreams are just his mind playing tricks on him. He sits up in his bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Reaching for the phone on his nightstand, he checks the time. It is 8:00am on a Saturday. While checking his emails and other notifications, he sees a text message from an unknown number. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> New Text Message  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>From: Unknown Number (Sent October 2nd at 8:42 PM)</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>HEY! HEY! HEY! AKAASHI! It’s Bokuto!! </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Akaashi (Sent October 3rd at 8:04 AM)</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hello Bokuto-san. </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Bokuto </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>HEY! I must’ve texted you while you were asleep! </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Akaashi </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Yeah I was. </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Bokuto</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Wow! You go to sleep early like an old man Akaashi! How are you doing today?</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi scowled. Bokuto didn’t seem like the kind of person to have a filter. Akaashi almost found it endearing how honest he was...almost. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Akaashi </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>I am going to ignore the ‘old man’ comment. I am doing fine, I’ll probably spend the day working from home. </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Bokuto </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Ooh where do you work?</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Akaashi </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>I am an editor for a manga magazine. </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Bokuto </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Wow! That sounds like fun. You must be really smart!</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Akaashi </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Not as fun as playing professional volleyball, but it pays the bills. </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Bokuto </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>You like to play volleyball?! We should play some time!</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Last night’s dream makes an appearance in Akaashi’s mind. He feels nervous having to experience it in person, but he can’t help but feel curious to know if maybe that dream meant more than Akaashi thought. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Akaashi </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Yeah I played a little when I was younger. That would be fun. </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Bokuto </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>How does next Saturday sound? There’s a gym I go to that we can play at. I can pick you up at around 12:00 PM!</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From: Akaashi </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Great. I’ll send you my address. See you then. </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even texting Bokuto seemed familiar to Akaashi. He is glad he has a week to prepare before he sees him again. He can’t help but feel nervous, like being around Bokuto could turn out to be something really great or be his undoing. </p>
<hr/>
<p>For the next few days, the dreams make an appearance every night. Each dream filling in a missing piece of the story. Akaashi finds himself unintentionally piecing together the dreams he has. So far, he knows that Bokuto is sick, and throughout time got more and more pale and thin. Prominent dark circles appear under his eyes over time. Akaashi does not understand why he is having these specific dreams and he doesn’t understand why they are affecting him so much. He dreams of watching a three hour movie called ‘Cloud Atlas,’ that Bokuto seems to like. He dreams of going to the hospital every day to see Bokuto, most of the time they just sit and watch the same movie. In one of his dreams he meets a tall man with a severe case of bed head and a smaller man whose hair resembles pudding. He doesn’t remember their names, but they seemed to be close to Bokuto. Akaashi finds it more strange that he has dreamt of two made up people in his mind. He didn’t realize he could have such a descriptive imagination to be able to conjure up two people that don’t exist. </p>
<p>The more Akaashi dreamed of Bokuto, the more he found himself wanting to spend time with him. He wonders if he and Bokuto will grow to have as good of a friendship as they do in his dreams. As much as Akaashi likes the friendship that Dream Akaashi and Dream Bokuto have, he can’t ignore the thing telling him that something is very wrong, that the Bokuto in his dream is different from the Bokuto he knows. They had fun together in his dreams, but there was also a constant feeling of worry that accompanied them, the giant elephant in the room that is Bokuto’s sickness, which neither parties seemed to bring up. He wants to know how the story ends, he wants to know what happens to Bokuto. </p>
<p>That Friday night’s dreams are filled with Bokuto, strawberry pocky, soft navy blue blankets, and watching ‘Cloud Atlas, on a little laptop. Akaashi starts to actually look forward to these dreams. He enjoys watching himself have a friendship that he has always longed for. </p>
<hr/>
<p>The next morning, he eats a quick breakfast and grabs a change of clothes to change into after he and Bokuto are done playing volleyball, stuffing them into a small duffle bag. </p>
<p>As always, Bokuto is smiling bright when Akaashi gets inside his car. “HEY! HEY! HEY! AKAASHI!” </p>
<p>“Hello Bokuto-san. You sure say ‘hey’ a lot”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s kind of my thing. You know you can drop the ‘san’” Bokuto pulls off and starts towards his gym.</p>
<p>“Okay...Bokuto…” Bokuto smiles brightly. “..san.” Bokuto’s smile briefly drops before a chuckle bubbles out of him.</p>
<p>“We’ll work on it. Maybe one day you’ll call me Koutarou.” Akaashi blushes at the thought, slowly turning to look out the window. “So what position did you play when you played volleyball?” Bokuto asks him. </p>
<p>“I was a setter.” </p>
<p>“No way! So you can toss to me today!”</p>
<p>Bokuto’s enthusiasm was infectious. Akaashi came to realize pretty quickly that he preferred this Bokuto, the Bokuto that didn’t have prominent bags under his eyes, that was lean and muscular with naturally flushed cheeks and not thin and pale. He liked to see him happy and confident. It wasn’t a façade that he tried to maintain, it was genuine, and the more Akaashi listened to him talk and laugh, the more drawn to him he became.</p>
<p>Akaashi doesn’t know if he should be worried by how quickly he is becoming attached to Bokuto or if he should just accept it. He doesn’t know if the dreams have caused him to feel like he already knows the man, or if it is Bokuto’s upbeat personality that makes him feel that here, in Bokuto’s presence, is where he is supposed to be. They fall into a comfortable silence, Bokuto occasionally breaking it to talk animatedly about volleyball or a show he likes watching. </p>
<p>The gym only has a few other people in it when they arrive. The volleyball court was completely free. Immediately, Bokuto is calling for Akaashi to toss to him. The volleyball feels familiar to Akaashi, like it hasn’t been years since Akaashi held one. As Akaashi sets the ball to Bokuto and watches him slam the ball down with ease, he almost forgets he stopped playing for so long. They fall into sync almost immediately. “Wow Akaashi! You’re pretty good! We would’ve been unstoppable in high school!” </p>
<p>“You think so?” Akaashi finds himself smiling at the thought. Bokuto stares at him, eyes wide as if he’s just seen a ghost. </p>
<p>“Uh- Bokuto-san, you okay?”</p>
<p>Bokuto shakes his head fast, as if just now coming back to reality. “Oh y-yes, we would’ve been great! I’m already the best, but with you we would’ve been even better.” </p>
<p>Akaashi chuckles slightly at Bokuto’s confidence. He remembers a moment from one of his dreams when the pudding hair boy was talking to him, “He praises others while shouting that he’s the best at everything he does. It’s ridiculous.”</p>
<p>Akaashi can’t believe how so many things from his dreams fit Bokuto perfectly. It is true, it is ridiculous, but also endearing how even though Bokuto thinks he is the best, he doesn’t fail at complimenting others on the great things they do as well.</p>
<p>After a few more sets, a few strangers decide to join in and they play a three on three match. Whenever Bokuto and Akaashi were on the same team, there was no stopping them. They moved as if they could read each other's minds. Playing with Bokuto made the setter wish he never quit playing, and part of him is glad that it was Bokuto that brought back his love for the sport. After a few matches with the strangers, they decide to go to a sushi bar that’s not far from the gym. Bokuto refused to let Akaashi pay for his own meal, claiming that Akaashi can get it next time. They eat while Bokuto tells funny stories about his teammates and the strong opponents they’ve gone up against. He gushes about his “disciple,” Hinata, claiming he taught him everything he knows. </p>
<p>“Didn’t Hinata go to Brazil to learn beach volleyball, so that he could get better all on his own?” Akaashi asks him. He had learned that information from Sugawara, who had gushed about his young Kouhai while they watched the game. Akaashi raises an accusing eyebrow up at Bokuto with a slight smirk playing on his face. Bokuto pouts, not wanting to admit that he only taught Hinata a small portion of what he can do. </p>
<p>“You’re no fun, Akaashi-kun.” Akaashi can’t help but chuckle at Bokuto’s expression. He looks back up to find Bokuto staring at him again in astonishment. </p>
<p>“What is it, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi tilts his head in confusion, wondering what keeps making Bokuto stare at him like that.</p>
<p>“You should really smile and laugh more. It looks good on you,” he says grinning as he sees Akaashi blush profusely. </p>
<p>“Y-you shouldn’t s-say such embarrassing things, Bokuto.” Bokuto chuckles at Akaashi’s reaction.</p>
<p>“Well, I like to be honest.” Bokuto shrugs his shoulders, taking a sip of his drink. He looks at Akaashi’s empty plate. “Guess it’s time to get you back home. You probably have a lot of work to do Mr. Editor.” Akaashi nods his head as he and Bokuto stand to exit the restaurant. </p>
<p>They sit in a comfortable silence on the way back to Akaashi’s apartment, that is until Bokuto turns on the radio and starts singing, with very bad English, some song by someone named Taylor Swift. Now, instead of silence, the car is filled with Bokuto’s very bad singing and Akaashi’s laughter. They spend the remainder of the car ride like that, Akaashi watching as Bokuto taps the steering wheel to the beat of the music and screams the lyrics to whatever song comes on. If it were anyone else singing in this way, Akaashi would’ve tried to jump out of the car by now, but Akaashi finds himself enjoying Bokuto’s liveliness. </p>
<p>He can’t help but feel a little sad as he says his goodbye to Bokuto before going up to his apartment. He reluctantly agreed that he would come to a few of his games and meet some of Bokuto’s teammates. The idea of being with Bokuto was enough to get him to agree, but he would be lying if said he wasn’t scared to meet his friends. Akaashi had never been that great at getting people to like him. People are usually turned off by the idea of having a friend that’s quiet and doesn’t do much but work. He is surprised Bokuto enjoys his company. </p>
<p>After doing some work and taking a shower, Akaashi just lounged on the couch watching TV. </p>
<p><em> ‘I should really get a dog or something,’ </em> Akaashi can’t help but think as he sits by himself, looking around the apartment that’s too big for just himself. Bokuto calls him, letting him know he got home safe. They talk for the rest of the night about nothing and everything, from tv shows, to volleyball, to what they’re eating for dinner. Talking to Bokuto feels easy. He‘s never had a friendship like this with anyone.</p>
<p>Bidding Bokuto a goodnight, he prepares to go to bed, rolling his eyes at Bokuto’s response of “Goodnight, old man.” Akaashi hangs up and places his phone on his nightstand before drifting off to sleep. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He is sitting in Bokuto’s hospital room again, reading off a phone that Bokuto handed him. </p>
<p>“If I knew those words I spoke a week ago would have been my last, I would have chosen them more carefully.”</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Bokuto-san can’t talk?’  </em>
</p>
<p>Akaashi wishes for Bokuto to get better in his dreams already, because he can’t stand seeing him like this, even if it is all made up in his mind. </p>
<p>“What would you have chosen to say?” Akaashi asks, curious as to what Bokuto would’ve wanted to say instead.</p>
<p>Bokuto shows him with his fingers that he has three words he wanted to say. Akaashi can feel the fear and nervousness in his body at the impending words that will leave Bokuto’s mouth. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Why don’t I want Bokuto to say it?’ </em>
</p>
<p>Bokuto struggles to type the words on the small screen before he flips the phone to show Akaashi what he wrote. Akaashi can feel his body calm down at the words not being what he expected. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Oh...’ </em>
</p>
<p>“You are beautiful,” Bokuto smiles lightly as he hears Akaashi read. “You think I’m beautiful?” Akaashi asks. Bokuto makes some signals to formulate a sentence. “Since the first day you saw me?” Akaashi hears himself say. A rare sight greeted Akaashi, Bokuto was nervous as he said this.</p>
<p>Out of nowhere a laugh fills the room. It takes Akaashi a minute to realize it is his own. The dream begins to fade away with Bokuto and Akaashi laughing together at Bokuto’s ridiculousness. </p>
<p>When Akaashi awakens he can’t help but smile at the dream. He wonders if Bokuto sees him as beautiful in reality too, but he immediately pushes the thought away. He’s sure Bokuto only sees him as a friend. Akaashi finds himself envying his dream self, thinking dream Bokuto and dream Akaashi probably get together and live happily ever after, after Bokuto gets better. </p>
<hr/>
<p>The next few weeks are spent with Akaashi doing work and texting or calling Bokuto. They are starting to learn more and more about each other. Akaashi finds out that Bokuto lives about fifteen minutes away from him. It’s a small apartment, something Bokuto only got for when he wasn’t traveling for volleyball. The spiker’s favorite animal is an owl, which Akaashi finds funny since he kind of looks like one. Bokuto makes Akaashi laugh more than anyone Akaashi has ever encountered. It was not hard for Akaashi to figure out that he had a big crush on the volleyball player. Not only was he extremely handsome, but he made Akaashi want to go out and do things instead of staying at home, eating pocky and watching documentaries. Even though the two are complete opposites, their personalities don’t clash. Instead, one personality makes up for the other. When Akaashi is quiet, Bokuto fills the silence, when Akaashi doesn’t want to go out, Bokuto brings the fun to him. Many would think that Bokuto is the younger of the pair with his exuberant personality, but the spiker is actually a year older.</p>
<p>Work and Bokuto were some of the only things that occupied Akaashi’s mind nowadays. The two started to spend weekends together, since they’re both so busy during the week. Sometimes they play volleyball, or go to see a movie, or just go out to eat or for coffee, letting hours pass by as they sit, talking and enjoying each other’s company. </p>
<p>One weekend, Akaashi found himself attending one of the Black Jackal’s volleyball games. Without fail, Bokuto was as entertaining as always, cheering loudly with every successful spike, along with Hinata. Akaashi did not think there was anyone that existed that could be as energetic as Bokuto, but Hinata surely proved him wrong. Their energy never seemed to dull, as they ran around the court jumping and spiking. </p>
<p>After the game, Bokuto introduced Akaashi to a few of his teammates, Hinata, Sakusa, and Atsumu. Sakusa and Akaashi were both quiet, but the other three filled the empty space with their enthusiasm as they ate dinner together. “Did you see the quick Atsumu and I was able to pull off today Bokuto?! It was all swoosh and BAM!!” Hinata exclaims. Everyone, excluding Sakusa, laughed at Hinata’s word choice to describe his actions. Akaashi realized soon that he had nothing to worry about meeting Bokuto's friends. It didn’t seem to bother his teammates that Akaashi only occasionally joined the conversation with a word or two, and Akaashi found it very entertaining to watch the group interact with one another. They chatted eagerly while stuffing their faces with meatbuns and ramen. Akaashi could see himself making friends with the group. </p>
<p>When they finished eating, the team went their separate ways, Bokuto walking Akaashi to his car. </p>
<p>“Your teammates are really fun Bokuto, I can see why you enjoy your job so much.” The air is chilly that night with winter slowly approaching, causing both men to shiver. Bokuto takes a few steps closer to Akaashi, providing extra body warmth. </p>
<p>“Yeah, they’re really cool. You’ll have to meet my best friend and his boyfriend too. His boyfriend is quiet like you, I think you will get along with him. My best friend is a lot like me. They played volleyball in high school as well.” Bokuto pauses as he hesitates to continue, “I’ve been wanting to ask for a while now, but why did you quit playing volleyball?”</p>
<p>Akaashi takes a sharp intake of breath, not prepared to be asked such a personal question. Bokuto waves his hand frantically, “I didn’t mean to pry, it’s okay if you don’t want to share.”</p>
<p>Akaashi waves it off. “No, no. It’s okay it was just sudden is all.” Akaashi starts to remember visiting his dad in the hospital. “Around my last year of middle school, my father got pretty sick. I went to visit him on my final day after our ceremony. He told me he wanted me to focus more on my studies in high school, that volleyball was a waste of time for me, because it was unlikely for me to go pro.” Bokuto shifts uncomfortably next to him. “My dad had died a few years later. At first, I was angry at my father for making me give up something I loved doing. It sucked giving up volleyball at the time, but I soon realized he was partially right. I never wanted to play professional volleyball, it was something I just did for fun. I wish I didn’t give it up completely, but I’m glad I didn’t focus all my time on it either. I like being an editor and I like the people I work with.”</p>
<p>“Annnd on an even brighter side, If you didn’t work there, you probably wouldn’t have been dragged to the volleyball game where you met me.” Bokuto nudges Akaashi playfully. </p>
<p>“Yeah..that too..” Akaashi smiles at Bokuto as they finally make it to the car. Akaashi unlocks the door, sliding inside. Rolling the window down, he remembers what he’s been wanting to ask, “Bokuto, would you want to come with me to get a dog?” </p>
<hr/>
<p>“OOH AKAASHI! Look at that one!” Bokuto exclaims, pointing to another dog that catches his attention. The shelter mostly took in dogs that were abandoned or abused. Bokuto was really excited. Akaashi was sure the taller male would adopt all the dogs, if his apartment even allowed pets. They continued walking down the aisle of cages, none catching Akaashi’s attention until they approached one that was empty. Akaashi didn’t realize hiding in the corner, hidden in the shadows, was a baby beagle. </p>
<p>“Bokuto.. look,” Akaashi taps on Bokuto’s shoulder, speaking softly to not scare the puppy more. Bokuto peered into the cage, eyes immediately going wide when seeing the puppy, trembling in fear. </p>
<p>“That’s the one,” Bokuto spoke silently, the quietest Akaashi had ever heard him speak. Akaashi watched as Bokuto spoke calmly to the puppy, whispering comforting words. By now the store owner had taken the beagle out of the cage, letting the taller male hold him. As Akaashi watched Bokuto gently pet the puppy, cooing as the furry creature slowly began to relax in his arms, Akaashi knew he was goner. He had completely begun to fall in love with the male. Bokuto’s amber eyes shined brightly as he looked at the small puppy with kindness and care.</p>
<p>They bought the essentials for the dog, driving back to Akaashi’s apartment. Akaashi knew Bokuto would not want to depart from the dog so soon and Bokuto didn’t hesitate to accept Akaashi’s offer to come inside. </p>
<p>“Wow, this is a really nice place Akaashi!” Bokuto declared, as he carried the pet inside, looking at the interior of the modern apartment. He set the puppy down to let him wander around. The two men began to set up the bed and the cage in the living room, placing the dog food in the kitchen, along with the food bowls. </p>
<p>“What should we name him?” Akaashi asks, as they sit on the floor, watching the puppy chew on one of the toys they bought. </p>
<p>“How about Spot?”</p>
<p>“Too normal.”</p>
<p>“Spike? For spiker.” Bokuto grins wide. </p>
<p>“I don’t think so.”</p>
<p>“How about Sushi? For what we ate the first time we hung out.” </p>
<p>Akaashi chuckles at that. “Yeah..I..actually like that.” Akaashi looks up to find Bokuto staring at him with a large grin on his face. “Why do you look at me like that, Bokuto?” </p>
<p>His response is almost immediate, “Because you’re really beautiful, Akaashi.”</p>
<p>Akaashi’s breath gets caught in his throat at the sudden response, feeling like he’s literally watching his dream come true. He feels his cheeks grow warm at the thought that someone as amazing as Bokuto can find him beautiful. For a moment, the two just stare, smiling at each other. “You’re beautiful too, Bokuto.”</p>
<p>Before the older male can respond, Sushi jumps into his lap, wagging his tail ferociously. “I guess we know who his favorite is,” Bokuto deadpans, earning a playful shove from Akaashi. All three end up sitting on the couch, watching tv until Bokuto leaves. </p>
<hr/>
<p>The morning of December 5th, was spent with Akaashi sleeping in. Suga had begged his boss to let the editor have the day off, despite Akaashi’s protests. He didn’t see the big deal in birthdays. After his father passed away, his birthday didn’t seem to hold much meaning to them. He didn’t have any plans other than sitting and watching TV, while Sushi slept in his lap. It had begun to lightly snow outside as the day’s hours went by.</p>
<p>A sudden knock startled the two off the couch. Akaashi got up quickly, making his way toward the door. As he peered out the peephole, he was met with a familiar pair of golden amber eyes. Opening the door to let in the spiker, he was cut off before he could question the other’s purpose for being there. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY AKAASHIIII!” Bokuto barged in, carrying a strawberry frosted birthday cake. </p>
<p>“How did you know?”</p>
<p>“I asked Hinata, who in turn asked Sugawara when we first became friends. I figured you were the type to spend your birthday doing boring, old man things so I thought you’d want some company.” Bokuto grinned wide as he placed the cake on the kitchen counter. Sushi had wasted no time in finding his way over to his favorite person. They sat, eating the delicious cake while they watched different movies. Bokuto had brought different board games to play if they got bored and was astonished to find out that Akaashi was weirdly good at Jenga, claiming that it had to be his setter hands that made his movements more precise and steady. </p>
<p>By the end of the night, they sat out on the covered balcony, watching the snow fall. Both agreed it wasn’t safe for Bokuto to drive back home that night, so he should stay at Akaashi’s. </p>
<p>“I’ve always loved the snow,” Bokuto walks to the edge of the balcony, reaching his hand out to catch the snowflakes on his hand. He stares in amazement as the snow builds up in his hand. Akaashi watched Bokuto’s facial expressions as he stared in fascination at the snow, it was almost childlike how the man could be so amazed at something as simple as snow. While Akaashi was in his own thoughts, he didn't realize the taller man had begun to scoop up snow off the railing of the balcony, until his thoughts were interrupted by a sudden ball of cold, smacking against his forehead. Akaashi jerks up as he hears Bokuto cackling, hunched over and clutching his stomach. The victim grabs some snow of his own, ready to launch his counterattack. While Bokuto fails to regain his composure, Akaashi makes his way over, quickly sliding the snow into his attacker’s shirt, causing the older male to screech.</p>
<p>The rest of the night is spent with them attacking each other with snow, until they’re both completely drenched and freezing. Akaashi grabs some oversized clothes for Bokuto to change into, pointing him towards the shower. Even though the clothes were too big for Akaashi, they still clung to Bokuto’s muscular frame, which proved to be very distracting for the setter. Refusing to take Akaashi’s bed for the night, the spiker made his way towards the couch, bidding a goodnight, as Sushi climbed onto his chest. For the first time in a long time, Akaashi found himself loving his birthday. He drifted off to sleep with a smile playing on his lips as he recalled the day’s events. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>An abrupt sound of thunder ripples through the air as Akaashi makes his way towards the familiar hospital bed. The smile that Bokuto was wearing slowly begins to fade away. His breathing becomes ragged as he grips onto the navy blue blanket. Akaashi watches as each clash of thunder brings about a flinch from the older male. </p>
<p>"F-f-u-ck." Bokuto’s voice breaks in terror. Akaashi watches as he tries to console the male as his panic attack increases. The younger male takes his hand into his. Bokuto continues to struggle to regain his breath as Akaashi whispers reassuring words to ease his hysteria.</p>
<p>“Akaashi.”</p>
<p>The rain grows louder, mixing in with Bokuto’s frantic sounds. Akaashi tries his best to get the frail man to calm down.</p>
<p>“Akaashi, wake up.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi is shaken awake, breathing heavily. Bokuto stands over him with his hand on his shoulder, eyes laced with concern. “Hey, are you okay? Looked like you were having a bad dream.”</p>
<p>Akaashi looks at the alarm clock on his nightstand, reading ‘3:37AM.’</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m okay.” Akaashi tries to give a reassuring smile, but it comes out as more of a grimace. </p>
<p>“Don’t worry about me, Akaashi-kun,” he waves off the statement. “Scoot over.” Bokuto states, blatantly. </p>
<p>Akaashi’s eyes go wide, “It’s okay, Bokuto, you don’t have to stay.”</p>
<p>“I want to.” </p>
<p>Akaashi blushes at Bokuto’s bluntness, but doesn’t argue as he moves closer to the wall. Bokuto wastes no time sliding in next to Akaashi, wrapping his arm around the smaller man’s waist. It takes no time for them both to drift off to sleep. Akaashi doesn’t dream after he goes back to sleep. </p>
<p>He’s the happiest he has ever been as he admires Bokuto’s calm, sleeping expression. It was clear that Bokuto was beautiful before, but seeing his serene appearance, eyelids fluttering every so often, with a slight smile on his lips, is the most beautiful Akaashi has ever seen him. Bokuto stirs awake, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. When he spots the man lying next to him an immediate grin finds its way onto his face. The snow has started to melt outside, leaving the two slightly disappointed that there’s no excuse for Bokuto to stay any longer. They eat breakfast together before Bokuto gathers his belongings, waving goodbye to Akaashi and Sushi as he makes his way out the door. </p>
<hr/>
<p>It’s been about two months since Akaashi has had any dreams of the sickly Bokuto, but Akaashi doesn’t mind. The relationship he has with the real Bokuto has surpassed his dreams. Akaashi isn’t sure how Bokuto feels about him, but he knows for sure he has completely fallen for the owl-loving volleyball player. Bokuto comes over to visit almost every day after practice when Akaashi is home from work, sneaking in treats for Sushi. The spiker thinks the other doesn’t notice, but really Akaashi just finds the gesture too cute to protest.</p>
<p>Bokuto stays the night more frequently since Akaashi’s birthday. No longer does Akaashi sulk around his apartment, wallowing in self pity at the concept of being alone, but instead goes out with Bokuto’s teammates after a game, or visits the gym to play volleyball. Bokuto not only encouraged the introvert to be his friend, but to also give others the chance to befriend him. Akaashi finds himself making an effort to get to know his colleagues more. Suga, Daichi, and Asahi often go out for drinks and Akaashi has found himself tagging along. He’s learned a lot about his colleague and actually considers him a very close friend now, the only person that knows his true feelings for the spiker.</p>
<p>Things seemed to be going really well, until February 2nd came around. Everything seemed to feel off that day, like something bad was supposed to happen. It rained throughout the day, adding to Akaashi’s discomfort. Fortunately, he made it through the whole day with nothing bad happening, but that still didn’t calm his uneasiness. Bokuto couldn’t come visit him during the day, but he promised he would the next day. Akaashi had never been more excited to go to sleep so that the day would end. He had been anxiously waiting for something bad to happen, jumping and flinching at every gesture or sound of thunder. He quickly turned off his lights and let sleep overcome him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi is walking down the hall in a hospital, sheets of paper in hand, seeming to be in a hurry. </p>
<p>“Hey! Hey- it’s you!” Hearing the familiar voice causes Akaashi to turn around. He hears himself sigh. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘This must be when we first got to know each other’  </em>
</p>
<p>They talk for a little bit, asking each other about their reason for being in the hospital. “I know you aren’t going to ask, so I’ll just let you know. From what I’ve heard, the doctors say that whatever I have is called...FFI? Fatal Familial Insomnia? If I remember correctly.” Bokuto tells him. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Fatal? No, that can’t be right.’  </em>
</p>
<p>Bokuto’s voice begins to fade away as the dream becomes fuzzy. Images of his time with Bokuto starts to flash before his eyes as if showing a montage. He sees a thin Bokuto walking around with the man with severe bed head, while he sits next to the pudding hair boy on a bench.</p>
<p>“No one likes to find out that someone they care about is sick.. Much less diagnosed with a disease that can’t be cured,” Akaashi hears the smaller man say. The seriousness of Bokuto’s condition dawns on Akaashi by the way the man speaks. There’s resignation in his tone as if he’s already accepted that what’s happening to Bokuto is inevitable.</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘No. I can’t watch this. Wake up.’  </em>
</p>
<p>“I wish I never met him,” Akaashi hears himself say. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘No, this is wrong.’ </em>
</p>
<p>More images flash through Akaashi’s mind. Bokuto’s sitting in his hospital bed crying to him. He looks so broken. His voice is quiet as he struggles to formulate what he wants to say. He hates seeing Bokuto like this. He is supposed to always be happy and confident. It doesn’t feel right to see him so vulnerable and sickly. This is all wrong.  </p>
<p>“I don’t...Want you to...Watch me decay,” Bokuto cries to him. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘No no no. Wake up Akaashi’  </em>
</p>
<p>Akaashi wants the dream to stop, but it continues to show all the negative moments with Bokuto that the dreams had refused to show him for the past few months. He thought he wanted to know the whole story, but this is too painful, seeing the man that has become such an important person in his life like this hurts too much.</p>
<p>Akaashi is lying down on the bed in his parent’s home. He can feel Bokuto’s breath fanning through his hair as he lays with his eyes closed, seemingly asleep. “I’m sorry,” Bokuto says to the smaller male as he caresses his hair, not knowing he is still awake. “I never meant to drag you in my life. I know that I'm unbearable. I know that I'm a lost cause. I know that you know that, too...And yet you still stick by me. So thank you.” Akaashi wants to cry. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Tell him he shouldn’t apologize.. Tell him it’s not his fault.. Tell him you want to be here with him.’  </em>
</p>
<p>Akaashi watches as he doesn’t say anything as the dream begins to fade away again.  </p>
<p>He watches more and more images of Bokuto flash before his eyes. Each image showing the regression of his appearance. His healthy frame, turning more and more frail and sickly. He’s standing back in the hospital room, looking at the date on his phone that reads February 2nd... Voices snap him out of his thoughts abruptly. </p>
<p>“I’m not coming back to visit him anymore. Not after this. I’ve seen enough.”</p>
<p>“Don’t leave me, Akaashi.”</p>
<p>“I won’t leave you.” </p>
<p>“Cold or not…I’m still.. Not going to last very long”</p>
<p>“I’m still… Here too…”</p>
<p>“I don’t regret meeting you.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight Koutarou.”</p>
<p>He’s suddenly laying in Bokuto’s hospital bed. Bokuto lies next to him, unmoving. As Akaashi wills himself to look up at him, he freezes. His pale petite frame looks even more ghostly than normal, his skin is unbelievably cold. There’s no rise and fall in his chest to show his breathing. The tears are streaming down his cheeks before he can stop them. He grabs Bokuto’s cold hand, unwilling to admit that Bokuto is not just sleeping. He can’t control the sobs that erupt from him, seeing him like this. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Bokuto-san…’ </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘This isn’t right.’ </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Please wake up..’ </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘I love y-’</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi jerks awake, clutching his chest as he tries to regain his breath. Tears fall freely from his eyes. It all makes sense now, the reason the raven haired man didn’t want to come back to visit Bokuto in the hospital, the reason why Akaashi didn’t want to hear Bokuto say he loved him, Bokuto’s hallucinations. It all was coming together for Akaashi. He rushes to the bathroom, stumbling along the way, eyes still blurry from sleep and tears. He splashes water over his face, trying to calm himself down. Once his breathing evens out and his heart rate goes back to normal, he goes back to bed. He reaches for the phone on his nightstand seeing the unread message from Bokuto. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From Bokuto:</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>I hope you sleep well :)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘That was sent about an hour ago. Maybe he’s still awake,’ Akaashi thinks.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From Akaashi: </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Are you up?</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From Bokuto:</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Yeah. Are you okay? You’re usually asleep by now. </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>From Akaashi: </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Yeah, I’m fine. I just had a nightmare that’s all.  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few minutes pass before the phone rings out loudly with Bokuto’s name flashing across the screen. Akaashi accepts the call, holding the phone up to his ear. </p>
<p>“Hello.”</p>
<p>“Do you want me to come over?” Akaashi can hear rustling on Bokuto’s end of the call.</p>
<p>“No Bokuto, it’s okay. It’s not a big deal.”</p>
<p>“I’m coming over.” Akaashi chuckles.<em> ‘There’s no stopping you is there.’ </em></p>
<p>They talk for a few minutes, Akaashi trying to convince the other that it’s not necessary and Bokuto persisting, saying it’s too late since he’s already on his way.</p>
<p>Akaashi can’t help but feel a sense of relief flooding through him at the thought of Bokuto being there after the dream he had. He needs to see for himself that Bokuto is alive and healthy. He’s known Bokuto for about four months now, but it feels like he’s known him for forever. He has fallen for him in such a small amount of time that he can’t even imagine life without Bokuto’s smile, his laugh, his awful singing, his boasting, his ability to always see the positive aspect of everything. </p>
<p>A knock interrupts Akaashi’s thoughts. He hurries to the door, ready to see the face he’s grown to love. Bokuto enters the apartment, without waiting for permission. He finds Akaashi’s room with ease and sits on the bed with his legs crossed. Akaashi follows him into the room soon after, sitting next to the man waiting patiently on his bed. Bokuto looks at Akaashi with his eyebrows raised as if he’s waiting for something. “Well?!” He exclaims. “Tell me about your dream.” He makes a gesture with his hand to tell Akaashi to begin. </p>
<p>“Okay, but it’s a little strange.” Akaashi warns, before he begins to tell him everything. </p>
<p>“I had to watch you die Bokuto.” His hands tremble as he starts to tell Bokuto the dreams that have plagued him for the past few months. Bokuto grabs Akaashi’s hands and places them in his lap, stroking his thumb against the back of his hand, a gesture that Akaashi appreciates. Feeling comforted enough, he takes a deep breath before continuing. </p>
<p>“Since we first met, I’ve been having dreams about us knowing each other already.” Bokuto raises his eyebrows in shock, but doesn’t say anything as he waits for Akaashi to continue. </p>
<p>“In my dreams, you were sick, and we met in a hospital. We would play volleyball together and watch movies together. Even though you were sick, you were always smiling, kind of like you do in real life.” Akaashi chuckles at that, but Bokuto just stays silent next to him. “You had two friends in the dream, one was really tall with crazy black hair that kind of resembled a rooster, and the other had longer hair that had black roots and blonde tips.” At this, Bokuto whips his head to Akaashi so fast, Akaashi is surprised he didn’t hurt his neck. </p>
<p>“You know Kuroo and Kenma?” Bokuto asks him, with his eyebrows raised so high they could almost reach his hairline. </p>
<p>“Who?” </p>
<p>Bokuto grabs his cellphone, tapping ferociously on the screen, before handing the phone to the other. On the screen is a picture of Bokuto with the two that have appeared in several of Akaashi’s dreams.</p>
<p>“Um yeah that’s them..they’re...real? I’ve never met them before.” Both sit astonished at this piece of information. </p>
<p>“That is my best friend Kuroo and his boyfriend Kenma that I was telling you about.” Bokuto says slowly, trying to process how it could be possible for Akaashi to have dreamt of them. </p>
<p>“This is really weird, Bokuto.” Akaashi says as he eyes Bokuto in the corner of his eye.  </p>
<p>“That’s not the only weird thing, Akaashi.” Bokuto looks nervous as he begins to tell Akaashi what will make this already unsettling situation even more outrageous. “You said we watched movies right? Well was it more so one movie that we watched on repeat... ‘Cloud Atlas’...and the sickness I had...Fatal Familial Insomnia...” Akaashi stares at Bokuto.</p>
<p>“How did you-”</p>
<p>“I’ve been having them too...the dreams...since we met..” Bokuto says, shifting nervously with his eyebrows furrowed. Both parties sit in silence for a few minutes, trying to figure out how this is possible and what this means.</p>
<p>“Do you think it’s like the movie in our dreams? That once we both died, our souls eventually reincarnated and found our way back to each other?” Akaashi scrunches up his nose, realizing how cliché it sounds once he says it out loud. </p>
<p>“Honestly, that’s better than the ideas that I was coming up with.” </p>
<p>“Well, what were your ideas?”</p>
<p>“That we had been abducted by aliens and given fake memories and our dreams were showing us our true realities.” Akaashi looks mortified at this theory. “See, I told you. Your theory makes more sense,” Bokuto shrugs, “It definitely explains why you looked so familiar when I first saw you.”</p>
<p>“How are you so calm about this?” Akaashi curiously asks. “If my theory is true, it means you died, Bokuto.”</p>
<p>“Well, so did you eventually, Akaashi, but I can’t help but feel relieved. This life is much better than that one don’t you think? We’re here right now, we’re healthy, we have Sushi, and volleyball. I’m happy with the way things are. In this life we have time. We've become really good friends these last few months and I'm not going anywhere, Akaashi. In this life I can tell you I love you without worrying about my certain death.” </p>
<p>“I know bu-” Akaashi stops abruptly, as realization dawned on him. “Wait, what did you just say?” Akaashi looks up at him in bewilderment. Bokuto still holds the other’s hand in his and gives it a squeeze. </p>
<p>“I love you, Keiji.” Bokuto uses his free hand to rub the back of his neck nervously. “I thought it was pretty obvious.”</p>
<p>“You love me.” Akaashi states, more to himself than to Bokuto. Bokuto grins, nodding his head in confirmation. “I love you too, Koutarou.” Akaashi didn’t think it was possible for Bokuto’s grin to grow even wider, but it did after hearing Akaashi’s words. By now, the two sat closely together, staring at each other before finally deciding to close the leftover space between them. Their lips met delicately as if they had all the time in the world, Bokuto cupping Akaashi’s face as they moved in sync against each other. The warmth of their skin lingered on each other even after it was gone. </p>
<p>The yawn that escaped Bokuto’s mouth was their indication to go to bed. As they lay facing each other, Bokuto caressing Akaashi’s face, Akaashi no longer envies his dream self. The moonlight shines through the window, lighting up Bokuto’s flushed face. There are no prominent bags or pale skin, his skin provides a warmth instead of being icy cold. <em>'Yeah, I definitely prefer this life too.' </em></p>
<p>“You know, Akaashi...if your theory is right... And this is another life...I’m glad I found you again.” His eyes flutter close as he starts to drift off to sleep. </p>
<p>“Yeah…” Akaashi smiles. “You found me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed! I am definitely not a professional writer, this is my first story, so please be kind. I hope this made someone that was as impacted by the original story, feel a little bit better. Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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